Sunday, April 22, 2007

"2600 block of Dillard Street values...." by Citizen Greening

NO, the picture at the right is not Tim Greening as the Cowardly Lion. It is Tim when he was "King of Highland," or at least king of the Highland Mardi Gras krewe, and a fine king he was. He is shown here with the krewe's queen that year. But in 2002, long before he pursued a life of royalty and heavy king wear, he was running for political office, as you might recall...


By Tim Greening
The Times

There goes my opponent again, with his misleading attacks on me and my campaign.

But all we need to do is look at the record to know that my opponent is wrong for public office, wrong for our families and wrong for our Shreveport-Bossier City values.

My opponent continues to accuse me of being in favor of high taxes and gun control. But the fact is, I will vigorously oppose any measure in favor of repealing anti-gun control laws that don't mandatorily support the effective repeal of an increase in taxes for working families.

Just wanted to be absolutely clear about that.

My opponent also claims to be the only candidate in the race with experience as a prosecutor. But check the record and you'll see I've participated in 74 trials in my career, in civil, criminal and family courts.

Sure, most of my participation has been as either "the accused" or "the defendant." But I stand by my record: a nearly 67 percent acquittal rate.

My opponent should stop lying about being the only candidate with significant courtroom experience. That kind of anti-truth agenda is wrong for our courts and wrong for our southern Caddo Parish values.

My opponent also continues his vicious attacks on my son, because he has received millions of dollars in contracts from the companies I regulate.

So, my opponent feels that people shouldn't earn their own living and instead we should live off of the public welfare dime? It's a good thing voters found this out now before sending him to Washington to further his pro-welfare, anti-capitalism agenda.

Also, his attacks are particularly vicious because my son is only 4 years old.

My opponent: pro-communism, anti-4-year-olds. That's wrong for capitalism, wrong for 4-year-olds and wrong for our 2600 block of Dillard Street values.

Of course, what my opponent will never mention in his misleading, malicious attacks is that while in the state Legislature, he consistently voted in favor of Daylight Saving Time, which every fall takes away an hour of sunlight every day, making it even more difficult for our gardens and our lawns to grow.

What's my opponent got against our gardens and lawns? His anti-sunlight agenda is wrong for our gardens, wrong for our grass and wrong for our in-between-Texas-and-Mississippi values.

What my opponent also won't mention in his vicious and misleading ads is his own checkered past. Just check his record: Word Up by Cameo.

In 1986, while in LSU law school, my opponent threw a party and served alcohol from a keg. After drinking a beer he put on the record and encouraged everyone to dance.

Then, after getting his groove on, my opponent put his hands in the air and waved them like he just don't care.

Like. He. Just. Don't. Care.

Is that the kind of man we want representing us in Washington? His just-don't-care attitude and reckless past is wrong for caring, wrong for '80s funk and wrong for our central North America values.

Also, what my opponent won't mention is that he's never denied being a member of al-Qaida, contributing to the bankruptcy of Enron, shooting Tupac Shakur and kidnapping the Lindbergh baby. There's no evidence linking him to any of those things - but he's never denied it. What's he got to hide?

So on Nov. 5, the choice is clear. The only pro-anti-tax, pro-anti-gun control, pro-truth, pro-capitalism, pro-4-year-olds, pro-garden, anti-hand-waving, pro-caring, anti-East Coast/West Coast rapper violence and pro-Lindbergh baby candidate is me.

So put your hands in the air like you do care and vote Greening. Right for families, right for business, right for our Northern Hemisphere values.

(Paid for by the People's Council of Friends of the Committee to Re-Elect Column Boy.)

Citizen Greening's column runs Saturdays.