From today's TIMES and NEWS-STAR
This
will come as a shock to readers who respect the English language, but two years
ago, Learfield Sports Properties hired me as “color analyst” for Louisiana Tech
football games.
(I
know. I was surprised too.)
The
most endearing play-by-play guys on the magic that is radio are the ones whose
voices excite and soothe and inform. Those who live in that rarefied air are a
treasure because, I am here to tell you, it is harder than it sounds.
Granted,
I am only the color guy. On television, the color guy is the star. On radio,
the play-by-play man is the star. He’s your eyes. It’s his show.
Hall
of Fame broadcaster Dave Nitz is “The Voice of the Bulldogs” at Tech and has
been for nearly 40 years. We call him Freeway Dave, a distinction he’s earned
since, in a half-century of broadcasting basketball, football and baseball (he’s
the former longtime “Voice of the Shreveport Captains,”) he has traveled more
than Willie Nelson (one of his heroes), is on a first-name basis with the U.S.
Interstate System and, as he likes to say, has been in more hotel rooms than
the Gideon Bible.
Freeway
is my friend. And a pro. And the star of every broadcast he’s a part of. I
sweep up after Freeway Dave.
Unless
something comes up.
Like
his food. Which is what happened a couple of weeks ago, just after the second
half of a football game we were doing began.
Freeway
had been ill for days but, trooper and nut that he is, drove from his Haughton home
to Ruston to do the Saturday night game. He battled through the pregame and the
first half. Nearly passed out at halftime. Then, just as the third quarter
began, he turned to a trash can behind us, face white as Vacation Bible School
paste, and pointed a finger at me that looked like the finger The Ghost Of
Christmases To Come pointed at Scrooge.
What?
Who. Me?
This
is how I know that play-by-play, like baking or gardening or hitting a long iron
high and soft, is harder than it looks.
Normally
a play on the radio would sound something like this:
“Here we go. First
snap of the second half. The Broncos have outscored their opponents in each
second half this season…
“Manning from
the pistol, looking, steps up, good protection, Welker crossing and he’s got him at the 50, Welker to
the 40!, Howard has an angle, Welker to the 25, they won’t get him, they won’t
get him. Welker at the 10. Touchdown, Broncos! Manning to Welker, and now
Denver’s making it look easy…”
And
in your head, when somebody points to you “on the air” and tells you to
describe what’s happening, that is the same way it sounds in your head. Only what
comes out of your mouth is something more like this:
“The boy just
hiked the … it’s a pass. That boy is running. He’s being chased and the pass…another
boy just knocked him down. Knocked him … that will bring up a whole other down…Boy.”
Not
quite the same -- I don’t know -- flow, maybe?
Young
radio engineer Ryan Kavanaugh, who’s done high school play-by-play, was quickly
summoned from his perch behind us – what was now Sick Bay – and together we
tangoed through the advertisements and “action on the field.” I like Ryan, mainly
because he’s never thrown up on me.
Yet.
It’s a long season…
On
the bright side, Dave’s recovered. Not all of us have.
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